Vocal Misadventures of Bhismalochan Sharma

A hilariously chaotic adaptation of Sukumar Ray’s Ganer Guto by Subhadeep Banerjee, where the vocal misadventures of Bhismalochan Sharma wreak havoc across cities, species, and sanity. A riotous retelling in verse, filled with absurdist wit and whimsical catastrophe.

I had shared a few adoption of Shukumar Roy’s poems earlier. This time let me share the vocal misadventures of Bhismalochan Sharma, whose painfully off-key singing spreads sonic destruction far and wide—from Delhi to Burma, skies to seas, humans to horses.

The sweet summer siesta,

Was surreally interspersed

With a sudden discordant acapella,

From the vocal cords of Bhismalochan Sharma.

His grand auditory torture spread fast and further,

Unsparing in its path –

Both Delhi as well as Burma.

Bhishmalochan sang with all his STRENGTH

Totally uncaring for his living HEALTH.

But alas his neighbours ran for deliverance,

From the effects of his performance –

With their heads spinning heavily

Under the high-decibel delivery!

Some even dropped dead from its mistuned effects,

While others writhing in pain

Cried out in vain –

‘Oh, my dear Bhismalochan,

Please stop your haunting vocal rendition.’

All the different beasts of burden exposed to the voice of Bhismalochan,

Could not take this kind of load.

The bullocks and horses perished in their holds,

Unable to bear this ghastly sounding oaf.

But Bhishmalochan continued unabated

With his practice even further augmented.

To save themselves from the noisy trap,

The piscean family dived deep for many underwater laps.

But the flora was not so lucky and bore the brunt of his cacophony.

Uprooted they lay like scattered stacks of hay,

His noisy waves blasted their roots away.

The avians too were not left untouched

By Bhishmalochan’s vocal torments.

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His attempts to sing many a classical hymn

Caused them a turbulence too severe,

Amidst their journey midair.

Sick of it all every living species pleaded him to STOP,

But Bhismalochan persisted his practice

Regardless of their hate-filled wrath.

The horizons came to a near collapse

And the veranda cracked beneath him,

But Bhismalochan was engrossed in his happy-hearted rehearsal,

Unaware of any potential dangers.

Finally, it took one gutsy goat to put an end to this dreadful torture.

Inspired by his unconventional tunes it went in full intent,

And rammed into his rear side, unsure how it all might end.

A final unmusical shriek was all that left to bear from Bhismalochan,

Followed by a silence to catch even a pindrop,

After which all the singing came to a fullstop!