Gangtok Blues: A Tale of Lost Love

Dive into the bittersweet tale of Sahil Gurung, a rockstar from Gangtok, as he revisits his hometown and confronts the ghosts of a lost love, Shivani. Explore themes of fame, regret, and missed chances in a narrative where communication proves the ultimate barrier to love.

He carried his bag over his shoulder; his Ray Ban Aviator hid his expressive, dark brown eyes. His leather jacket looked dapper, on him. Bagdogra airport was choc-a block with thousands of hysteric fans jamming across the Exit gate, the parking area and even the approach road, mostly with teenaged girls, and all he ever wanted was her, but he knew his favourite pair of light brown eyes would never meet his, for she would not come, not even to catch a glimpse of his second performance in his hometown, Gangtok.

Sahil Gurung, the only local Rock Star from Gangtok, had made it big in the world of music on both national as well as international platforms, and now the rock maestro was set to perform in Gangtok. His band members had already flown in from Mumbai, and he had just reached the Bagdogra airport. The police had a tough time controlling the frenzied fans, who had suddenly mushroomed, surrounding the airport like flies over the icing topping a cake.

***

Women no longer appealed to Sahil, nor was he emotionally tied down to any of those he dated on and off; drugs didn’t get him that high; his money didn’t make him happy, for all he wanted was Shivani, and he knew he would never get her. Give him the most beautiful woman on earth with the most desirable body and still his heart would beat for Shivani.

Sadly this truth dawned on Sahil a bit too late… or was it ?

You could be the richest man in the world with the most gorgeous female by your side, and still your heart would feel hollow, when the one you truly ever loved is not there to hold your hand. And even if you do sometimes, you take that person for granted, so much so that it’s only when she leaves you that you start to value and miss them terribly.

***

Sahil lived his past each day, for it was only in his memories that Shivani lived in him. His cute girlfriend, Shivani had been the one who first helped him set up his band, worked hard to organise his first show in Gangtok and the one he had taken her for granted so many times, that finally she left him for good.

The day ,she had caught him in his house with another girl, though they had only been looking at some photo albums, the fact that he had lied to her made matters worse.

She looked hurt, to see them both laughing and looking at her pictures where she was goofily posing, not for the world to judge but for her boyfriend to remember her in private, whenever he felt sad.

She pretended not to look hurt, but her usually luminous eyes dimmed a bit.

Then came the day when she found a letter that Sahil had written to Leezum, the same girl in his college, and the letter mentioned the fact that Sahil wanted to be more than friends with her.

Sahil had passed it off as nothing much, saying that it wasn’t anything, but again her bright eyes grew dim.

And yet, she didn’t complain.

***

It was Valentine’s Day party and Shivani felt lonely at the party that he had forced her to attend.

She had caught a drunken girl in a red miniskirt with her arms draped around him.

She rushed outside in tears and found his best friend Sachin, who looked at her with concern.

Sachin offered to give her a lift till home and she gratefully accepted.

At home, she got an angry call from Sahil demanding to know where she was and that someone had told him that she was with Sachin.

Shivani was hurt not because she had caught him cheating again, but because he had questioned her integrity.

Her heart broke when she finally mustered courage to say: “It’s all over, I can’t let you hurt me over and over again.”

Sahil had laughed and said that was exactly what he had wanted.

***

One year went by and Sahil never got around to apologise to her… he was busy and his band was peaking its fame constantly, each day. He had no time to cry over spilt milk.

One day, Sahil was waiting for a girl on his bike near Deorali and suddenly from the opposite side he saw Shivani.

He tried to look the other way, but he couldn’t help looking at her.

She looked fresh in a white tee and blue jeans, her hair had grown longer and she looked happy.

She was trying to cross the road and then he saw her walking towards two small kids studying in Deorali school. They were helped by her to cross the street, then he saw her buying some biscuits for the two and she hugged them both and smiled.

That was it… her smile was what had endeared him to her.

He rode his bike and stopped near her, and just as he was about to call her name out, a white car stopped in front of him, and she smiled while boarding it.

She never did notice him and he felt like a fool.

So she had moved on, it seemed, and he felt unhappy and confused as to why it still mattered to him.

***

Ten years rolled by, and now he was back in Gangtok with a chance to see her, perhaps.

There were giant hoardings of him with his band everywhere in and around Gangtok, and he hoped she would come to attend his concert, but then he thought, why should she even care?

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After all, ten years had gone by without a Hi or a Hello.

***

The concert was a huge success and he was now in the backstage resting, when Shivani entered.

” Hey, Sahil how have you been?” she asked cheerfully, and even hugged him tight.

He was tongue-tied, and just managed to say fine. He couldn’t even bear to give her a proper hug.

He was so flabbergasted that his seeming awkwardness made Shivani feel that he was annoyed to see her there.

As he was called by the press to give an interview, he asked her to stay back.

Shivani thought he was avoiding her, like he did all those years.

Outside, Shivani started walking briskly. She felt like an idiot, for she now came to believe that he had never felt anything for her.

“I am so stupid, he never did love me,” she cried and hailed a taxi, promising to never meet him again.

She called Sachin and in between her sobs told him what a fool she had been.

Sachin consoled her but in his heart he was glad: he now could move in from being ‘just friends’ to maybe become her boyfriend.

***

Sahil ran back to find the backstage empty.

“She has moved on, she never really loved me,” he told himself.

Sometimes, love isn’t meant to be not because you don’t love each other but for the simple fact that we all have lost the art of communication.

It feels better for us to text then to call; to face each other is difficult, for the fear of rejection makes us so paranoid that we learn to hide our true feelings.

And in doing so, many a time a love story ends before it even starts.