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Saga Of The Metro Kind

Saga Of The Metro Kind

Crowd inside Delhi Metro

The Delhi Metro’s ride can be pretty adventurous especially in a women’s coach and more so, if you’re not careful, says Sashi Sherpa

When the Delhi government decided to re-start the Metro lines- guess who was the most excited? Me, me, me!

The morning madness on the road maybe absolutely crazy but it certainly does not bear comparison to the madness you get to witness in the women’s coach of Delhi Metro, especially during the peak hours. A lot of us are not morning people. Period.

So, when you add to the general grumpiness of waking up early, finishing your chores in a half-asleep state only to run and catch the Metro in order to punch in attendance in office on time, you can be sure, dear reader, all of this takes a toll – mentally and physically. Add to that a woman’s hormones playing hide-and-seek from time to time. You get what I mean, don’t you? All of it ensures that she definitely qualifies as dangerous – especially during the morning ride! How do I know. I am a woman you dimwit!

Now imagine, a whole bunch of such hormones induced women travelling in the same coach! I have witnessed the most dynamic side of this lot- some of it has been really comical, but there have been instances where I thank God for not making me part of the overall dynamism!

I remember a particular incident vividly where the locomotive driver pulled the brake suddenly. So suddenly in fact that it gave the whole train a big jolt, and thus, it was only natural that people who were not holding onto support went flying (read crashing) into one another.

“Don’t roll your eyes… I did not fall on you purposely,” said a slim and tall woman standing next to me. She also rolled her eyes and made some weird shape with her mouth simultaneously. I looked at her wondering if she was addressing me. But I hadn’t rolled my eyes at all! But wait, she was talking to the one adjacent to me.

Apparently, this very vocal woman’s slender frame had collided with the woman in question. “Of course, you will fall when you are not holding onto any support properly. Learn to stand in the Metro properly,” the other woman retorted, with equal fervour and heightened passion.

“Hello!!I am not a lesbian that I was dying to fall on top of you purposely….and even if I was –you definitely would not have been my choice – Just look at your face! And if you cannot handle even a slight inconvenience, why don’t you come in your private chauffeur driven car?” The first woman ranted in her shrill voice while rest of us in the coach watched with bated breath for what is to be expected from the other one.

We all know how fiery women can be, especially in the morning hours- so I guess none of us had the actual guts to stop them and we just hoped that the fire will douse on its own.

But none of us had expected the next scene: The second woman pushed the slender girl saying something incomprehensible in Hindi language and since I was next to her, count me as collateral damage. This time, it was me who went flying – basically falling on the woman sitting in front of me while my face landed on her ample.. uhhmm… her large bosom.

I didn’t know if I should thank my luck that my face had not hit any hard concrete, or should I have thanked God for providing me ample cushion. I was also hoping that this woman doesn’t turn out to be as mad as the one who had just pushed me.

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I always try my best in public areas to avoid things that can lead to argument, and fights are always a Big No, No. Firstly, being a tiny person with almost no physical strength, it’s not a very good idea to be an initiator of arguments. Secondly, the idea of someone hitting my face where I invest the maximum amount of my money buying ridiculously expensive skincare products – I cannot even fathom the idea of having scars that will take ages for me to get rid of. So I Steer Clear.

I was about to open my mouth to tell the well endowed lady that it wasn’t me, but before I could do so– she actually, gently helped me get back on my feet and in her booming voice, she thrashed both the women for acting juvenile and disrupting the peace of the fellow passengers, and for almost hurting me. Yay!!!

I was mentally doing cartwheels at that very place of dispute. She was quite a big woman and someone not to be messed with easily – yet there was a gentle side to her, the way she stood up for me. She was the kind who perfectly fit the bill of ‘gentle giant’ as long as you didn’t invite her ire unnecessarily.

Both the women who were confronting came to an absolute standstill, not uttering a word. Next thing I knew, this gentle giant pushed the emergency button and soon as the next station came, both the women were thrown out of the coach!

Some women are the epitome of kindness – it doesn’t matter whether they are from my hometown or here. Hormones or not, my morning rides are more peaceful now.

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