Government of India says Marital Rape is not a Crime
Dive into the hilarious absurdity of the Government of India and its stance on marital rape laws in this satirical take. Discover how tradition trumps basic rights in a comedy of errors that highlights the outdated beliefs surrounding marriage and consent.
Oh, the government of India—our very own troupe of constitutional comedians! What a delightful spectacle they provide with their recent declaration opposing petitions to criminalise marital rape. One can hardly keep a straight face as the federal home ministry strides into the Supreme Court, waving its hand like a magician revealing a particularly mediocre trick. “Fear not, dear citizens! While a man does not possess the fundamental right to force sex upon his wife,” they proclaimed, “there are plenty of laws to protect married women from sexual violence!”
Oh, marvellous! A veritable buffet of protections, served with a side of “don’t bother us with petty details.” It’s like offering a raincoat in a monsoon while standing under a leaky roof—delightfully optimistic but woefully inadequate!
You see, according to the government of India, the sanctity of marriage is such a precious thing that criminalising marital rape might—gasp—”seriously impact the conjugal relationship.” Can you imagine? The horror! A husband might feel disturbed if he suddenly can’t invoke his “reasonable expectation” of a conjugal buffet at his beck and call. What a calamity that would be! Why, we might have to start treating wives as actual human beings with their own thoughts and feelings! The very idea is positively scandalous!
And let’s not overlook their claim that a marriage is a relationship of “different class”—a snobby little enclave, like a posh club in Bombay where the rules of basic human decency don’t apply. One can almost picture a government official sipping Earl Grey, gently wiping crumbs from his lapel as he delivers the riveting argument that “implied consent” should be the law of the land. Consent in marriage? Oh, what a quaint concept! Why bother with formalities when you can have implied agreements like you’d have with a dodgy mechanic?
Let’s not kid ourselves here; Section 375 of the Indian Penal Code—an ancient relic dating back to 1860—still holds sway in this modern age, just as the government clings to outdated notions of “traditional values.” One can only marvel at their dedication to preserving a law that essentially says, “Once you say ‘I do,’ your body becomes a communal property.” Bravo, really! Nothing says progress like a government stuck in a time warp, clinging to archaic laws while claiming to protect the very women they dismiss as mere plot points in the grand narrative of matrimony.
Meanwhile, we’ve got a lovely statistic waving at us from the sidelines: one in 25 women facing sexual violence from their husbands. But, of course, the government, in its infinite wisdom, would prefer to sweep this little fact under the rug, right next to all the other inconvenient truths. Why address the rampant violence when you can preserve the “institution of marriage”? It’s as if they believe that if they ignore it long enough, it’ll just vanish like a bad smell after a few spritzes of air freshener.
And who could forget the eloquent words of the men’s rights activists? “Consent is implied!” they chant as if reciting a sacred mantra. Implied! Like a silent agreement to tolerate the in-laws during the holidays or to pretend to enjoy that extra slice of fruitcake. What a charming perspective! Who knew marriage was one grand game of charades, where one’s right to bodily autonomy is left up to interpretation?
So, let’s raise a cup of tea to the Indian government, our illustrious purveyors of marital bliss, who valiantly strive to uphold the institution of marriage with all the grace of a drunken elephant on roller skates. Here’s to ensuring that tradition trumps basic human rights any day! Because in the grand theatre of life, who needs actors when we have such a ridiculous script to follow?
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