Garlands for Terrorists who Killed Gauri Lankesh
In this satirical piece, explore the absurdity of India’s selective outrage, where convicted criminals receive hero’s welcomes with garlands and sweets, highlighting the nation’s growing hypocrisy in the name of ideology and faith.
Ah, India—what a splendid circus of contradictions you are! One minute, we’re collectively losing our marbles over Pakistan honouring the infamous Hafiz Saeed, and the next, we’re rolling out the red carpet for our very own homegrown terrorists, complete with garlands and sweets, as though they’ve just come back from winning the World Cup. It’s as if we’ve developed a national case of selective amnesia, or worse still, we’ve simply decided that hypocrisy pairs nicely with a bit of pomp and ceremony.
Take, for instance, the latest theatrical production surrounding the two chaps convicted of assassinating journalist Gauri Lankesh. You’d think that a pair of men who silenced a woman with bullets for daring to express her views wouldn’t exactly be met with a standing ovation, but oh no, this is India. We love a good underdog story, even when the underdogs in question are, well, murderers. In fact, let’s give them the full hero’s welcome—garlands, sweets, temple visits—the lot! It’s practically what you’d expect if they’d just returned from saving a kitten stuck up a tree, rather than serving six years behind bars for an act of cold-blooded terrorism.
It’s as if we’ve forgotten the teensy little detail that these fellows actually murdered someone. Instead, they’ve been welcomed back like returning war heroes, with a jolly pat on the back. “Bravo, chaps! Jolly good show! So you shot someone? Well, these things happen, no hard feelings, eh?” Because clearly, in the land of moral grandstanding, silencing dissent with a bullet is perfectly forgivable, so long as you’ve got the right cheerleaders waving you through.
And what a crowd it is! The pro-Hindu brigade, falling over themselves to present these murderers as martyrs. Martyrs, no less! One almost expects them to start comparing them to freedom fighters next. The irony is so thick you could cut it with a butter knife. They call themselves defenders of the faith, but in truth, they’re no different from the very terrorists they claim to despise—whether it’s Ajmal Kasab, Osama bin Laden, or any of the other villains of the piece. Same script, different actors.
Now, let’s not forget the temple visit. Ah yes, because nothing screams “atonement” like popping into a temple for a quick prayer. Just a bit of divine intervention to wash away that pesky murder conviction, you know? A floral tribute to Shivaji Maharaj while we’re at it, as if the great warrior himself would be thrilled to have his name dragged into this farcical charade. I’m sure he’s watching from the afterlife, wondering what on earth went wrong.
And of course, the pièce de résistance of this comedy of errors is the fact that these men were sentenced to a mere six years. Six years! I’ve seen people get longer sentences for tax evasion, and that’s without the garlands and temple visits. Meanwhile, a chap who ran over two people while driving under the influence not long ago was let off with the punishment of writing an essay. An essay! One wonders if we’ve secretly become a nation of satirists, so absurd is the spectacle.
What’s most delightful—if one can use such a word—is the sheer hypocrisy of it all. A country that claims to abhor terrorism when it’s convenient, yet seems perfectly content to roll out the welcome wagon for terrorists of the “right” sort. Remember the Bilkis Bano case? When rapists were showered with flowers on their release? It’s the same story on repeat. The problem isn’t the crime; it’s whether or not the perpetrator fits the preferred narrative.
And where are the rest of us in this grand production? Why, sitting comfortably in the audience, of course! We’ll offer a few disapproving mutterings, shake our heads in exasperation, maybe even post a tweet or two, but actually do something about it? Heavens no! That’s far too much effort. After all, we’re much more concerned with what’s going on across the border, aren’t we? It’s far easier to point fingers at others than to clean up our own back garden.
So here we are—garlanding terrorists one day, condemning them the next, all depending on which way the wind’s blowing. A nation that’s perfected the art of selective outrage, with a heaping spoonful of hypocrisy thrown in for good measure.
Bravo, India. Bravo indeed. Give yourselves a round of applause.
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