Donald Trump & his latest Tango
In this episode of ‘cup of laughter’, we explore Donald Trump and his potential final run for the US presidency. From polls and policies to zimmer frames and Twitter rants, will Trump take his last bow or continue the show?
Donald Trump, back in the saddle and galloping towards yet another US election – like a cowboy who can’t quite hang up his spurs. At 78, he’s been at it for a fair few years now, isn’t he? It’s almost like the man’s become the political version of those questionable Arnab Goswami shows– you wonder how they’re still on air, yet there they are, years after years.
Now, the latest pearl from the Trump oyster is that if he loses to Kamala Harris in this election, he won’t run again in 2028. He’s finally acknowledging that even a man with his ego has limits – or maybe he’s just running out of hats for the rallies. “No, I don’t see that at all,” Trump remarked, as if we’ve all been sitting around wondering whether he’d pop back in four years like a recurring bad smell. Frankly, at his age, he’d be pushing more than policy – probably a zimmer frame, too.
Of course, US law says you can’t serve more than two terms as president, but since when has Trump let a little thing like “laws” get in his way? The man’s probably already drafting a ‘Trump-stitution’ where he gets to reign indefinitely, perhaps from a golden throne atop Trump Tower. He’d be 82 in 2028 – but let’s be honest, if Prasanjit Chatterjee can still be casted as hero, Trump could probably still campaign, albeit with a bit more hairspray and fewer coherent policies.
And yet, here we are, with The Donald contemplating the unthinkable: losing. It’s almost as rare as the Cheetahs released by Modi surviving in Kuno National Park isn’t it?
But twice in the past week, he’s dared to mention the idea of not winning. You have to wonder if he’s seen the polls and had a bit of a wobble. After all, Kamala Harris is leading in the numbers – and numbers, as we know, have never been Trump’s strong suit. His relationship with reality has always been a bit like Calcutta weather these days (thanks to the so called ‘unnoyon’ and cutting of trees) – unpredictable and often annoying.
In one of his more inspired moments of diplomacy, Trump also suggested that if he does lose, it’s partly down to the Jewish vote – because obviously, when in doubt, blame a minority. He reckons that if 60% of Jewish voters are backing Harris, they’re essentially in cahoots with “the enemy”. You know it’s bad when even his former supporters have started raising their eyebrows – though to be fair, it’s hard to tell whether they’re shocked or just still recovering from the endless barrage of Trumpisms over the years.
Meanwhile, the Harris campaign is having a bit of a party, raking in more than $190 million in August alone – I mean, you could practically buy an entire island and still have some change left over for a round of drinks at the pub. Trump, on the other hand, scraped together a mere $130 million, which, in Trump terms, is a bit like admitting he’s downgraded from a gold-plated jet to, heaven forbid, business class.
Of course, Trump being Trump, he’s brushing off these polls like they’re nothing more than fake news. In his world, if it doesn’t fit the narrative, it simply doesn’t exist. Who needs facts when you’ve got alternative facts, right? But the numbers are there, staring him down like a pint of lukewarm ale after last call – Harris is leading 52% to his 48%, and she’s even got a narrow edge in key battleground states.
Yet, in true Trump style, he’s already thinking ahead. Should he lose, he’ll undoubtedly start pondering a new career – maybe a return to reality TV? “The Apprentice: White House Edition.” I can see it now: each week, a new batch of hopefuls will vie for his approval while he bellows, “You’re fired!” at every opportunity, perhaps with a cameo from Rudy Giuliani as the hapless advisor.
But until November, Trump’s holding on, like a terrier with a bone – or, more accurately, like a man who’s desperately clinging to relevance, hoping the next Twitter rant will somehow swing things in his favour. The world watches, bemused, as America decides whether it wants to keep this soap opera on the air for one more season.
And if this really is Trump’s last rodeo, well – it’s been a wild ride. The man who made fake tan fashionable, and whose tweets kept the world both entertained and deeply concerned, might finally ride off into the sunset. Or, knowing Trump, he’ll demand the sunset be replaced with something more ‘bigly’, like fireworks and his name in neon. Either way, we’re in for a show.
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