Anubrata, ED and the Bail Comedy
Anubrata Mondal, granted bail in the notorious cow-smuggling case, leaves us all chuckling at the absurdities of Indian justice. With untranslated evidence and a hefty 10 lakh rupee bond, this spectacle of legal drama unfolds with all the irony of a Khushwant Singh novel.
Ah, the ever-entertaining spectacle of justice, or rather, in this case, Indian justice—close enough! Imagine the scene: Anubrata Mondal, a man as innocent as a sheep, finally granted bail in the notorious cow-smuggling case. Yes, that’s right, folks, a man accused of shifting bovine cargo like a dodgy eBay seller but with none of the customer reviews! Ten lakh rupees bond, no less! You could buy a fair few cows for that—though smuggling them might be a tad trickier.
But hold your horses—or cows, let me tell you about the court’s logic here—it’s as clear as the Thames on a foggy morning. The Enforcement Directorate (ED) had filed a charge sheet, didn’t they? Full of accusations and suspicious transactions, all written in Bengali. Well, bless their hearts, the court couldn’t make heads or tails of it because it hadn’t been translated! The judges, being decent chaps and gals, simply couldn’t understand the accusations because no one bothered to press Ctrl+Alt+T for ‘Translate’. You can’t help but feel this is a plotline Khushwant Singh might’ve dreamed up after one too many sherries. Poor soul left too early.
So, what does the court do when they can’t understand the evidence? They grant bail, naturally. “Can’t keep the poor chap locked up because we haven’t the foggiest idea what anyone’s on about,” they mused. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant! It’s like telling a burglar, “We’re letting you off because the CCTV footage is in French and our translator’s gone for tea.”
The irony is so thick you could spread it on toast. Anubrata gets off because no one’s got around to translating a few witness statements. But let’s not be too hard on the ED. I’m sure they’re very busy—probably stuck translating a Netflix series or a Bengali cookbook for all we know. “Ah yes, your honour, we were halfway through the subtitles when we got distracted by the recipe for roshogolla. That was more important as my wife wanted me to buy them from K C Das, but it skipped my mind, now I have to cook for her back home. Family comes first isn’t it? ”
Of course, this isn’t Anubrata’s first rodeo. The poor fellow had applied for bail back in May on health grounds. That didn’t fly back then, but now? Now he’s just going through the “usual process.” Oh, how marvellously vague! What does “usual process” even mean? It sounds like what I tell the wife when I’ve forgotten her birthday—“Oh darling, I’m going through the usual process of… um, love.”
But let’s not overlook the pièce de résistance here—Anubrata’s daughter, Sukanya Mondal, has already sauntered off on bail. Like father, like daughter, eh? One can only imagine the delightful family reunion waiting to happen. Perhaps they’ll sit down, sip a cup of tea, and reminisce about all the cows they didn’t smuggle. You know, as one does.
And what of the cows, you ask? Ah, dear reader, the cows are blissfully unaware of the bureaucratic brilliance that has allowed their alleged transporter to mosey on towards freedom. They continue to chew cud somewhere, probably more confused than anyone about why they’re such a big deal in all this.
In conclusion, justice may be blind, but apparently, it’s also monolingual.
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